How to Make a Life List: Writing Down What Matters Most

A life list, also called a bucket list, is a written list of the experiences and achievements you hope to have in your lifetime. To start one, think about what matters most to you, then write down a handful of things you would like to do, see or finish, with a rough date beside each.

What a life list is

Stanford Medicine’s Letter Project describes a bucket list as an itemized list of goals people want to accomplish before they “kick the bucket,” or die. Put more practically, it is a list of the experiences or achievements a person hopes to have during their lifetime, and a way to name cherished goals and work toward them within a given time.

The idea has spread beyond whole lifetimes: Stanford notes that many teenagers keep a “high school bucket list” or a “prom night bucket list.”

Stanford calls a bucket list not a list of impossible fantasies but a “value map” for your future.

Why writing it down helps

Psychologist Gail Matthews of Dominican University of California tested what happens when people write their goals down. Of 267 people recruited from businesses and networking groups in six countries, 149 finished the study, randomly placed in five groups. The first group only thought about what they wanted to accomplish over the next four weeks. The others wrote their goals down, and some also wrote action commitments, sent them to a supportive friend, or sent that friend weekly progress reports.

The people who wrote their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not. The group sending weekly progress reports to a friend did best of all, and those who sent their commitments to a friend did better than those who only wrote them. Matthews named three tools the study supports: accountability, commitment and writing goals down.

Two cautions. You may have heard of a Yale or Harvard study in which the 3 percent of graduates with written goals later earned ten times more than the rest. Matthews, Harvard social psychologist Steven Kraus and Fast Company magazine all looked for it: no such study was ever done. And the goals in Matthews’s own study were mostly work goals, such as completing a project, increasing income or getting organized, pursued over four weeks. It is one encouraging study, not a law of life.

A list with a spiritual side

Stanford’s Letter Project surveyed 3,056 people across the United States, asking whether they had a bucket list and what was on it. Around 91.2 percent had one. People who said faith, religion or spirituality was important to them were the most likely to have a list, at 95 percent, compared with 68.2 percent of those who said it was unimportant.

The researchers found six common themes. The desire to travel appeared for 78.5 percent of participants, to accomplish a personal goal for 78.3 percent, to reach a specific life milestone for 51 percent, to spend quality time with friends and family for 16.7 percent, and to do a daring activity for 15 percent. The sixth theme was financial stability.

How to write one

1. Start with your values. Stanford’s first step is to reflect on what matters most to you and on your core values.
2. Brainstorm freely. Write down the experiences you would like to have and the tasks you would like to complete. Psychology Today’s Alice Boyes advises: if you want it, write it down, without censoring yourself over what others might think. Let the list reflect your own personality, quirks and interests, beyond the usual favorites such as Paris, a language or a book.
3. Mix big and small. Include things you can do for less than $100 and without leaving your home town. Small items count, like making a vegan cheesecake yourself.
4. Add easier versions of big dreams. Living in another country might sit beside subletting an apartment abroad for a month. Steps toward a large goal can be goals too: if one item is “write a book,” others could be “write a book proposal” and “learn how to write a book proposal.” Boyes says such variations help you spot chances you would otherwise miss.
5. Give each item a timeline. Some will take years and others can be done fairly soon. Boyes suggests keeping a “sometime” list alongside a list for this year, or even this month.
6. Trim it down. Stanford recommends keeping the working list to four or five items, with at least two that are easy to achieve in a short time. Those easy wins help you keep up the effort for loftier goals.
7. Write a concrete action for each item. Stanford’s planner has a column for the actions you will take and the date you expect to check the item off.
8. Share it. Talk the list over with loved ones. Stanford notes they will often want to help, or even join you.
9. Make a weekly slot. Boyes suggests setting time aside each week, for example two hours on a Sunday afternoon, for doing or planning, such as pricing a month in Rome.

A life list checklist

• Reflect on what matters most to you and your core values.
• Brainstorm experiences you want to have and tasks you want to complete.
• Keep a “sometime” list and a list for this year.
• Include one item that costs less than $100.
• Include one item you can do without leaving your home town.
• Pick at least two easy wins you can finish soon.
• Trim the working list to four or five items.
• Write one concrete action and an expected date for each item.
• Share the list with someone who will support you.
• Set aside a weekly time to work on it.
• Review and update it on your birthday or another memorable day.

Keeping it alive

A life list is not meant to stay the same. Stanford suggests making one each year, perhaps on your birthday, checking items off over the following months and reviewing it on your next birthday. Aim to check off at least one or two items a year, and add new ones as old ones are done.

Your hopes will shift as you age. Stanford observes that young people often list daring deeds, while older people tend to be more risk averse and focus on travel and time with loved ones.

Let items go without guilt. Boyes writes that a bucket list is not an exercise in perfectionism, and that dropping an item you have lost interest in is not failing, just changing your mind.

When you check something off, Stanford suggests pausing to savor the sense of a job well done.

A note on health goals

Many people list health goals, such as quitting smoking or trying a particular diet. Stanford suggests talking these over with your primary care doctor. If you live with a chronic illness, ask your doctor whether your health, or any treatment they propose, could stand between you and the things on your list.